I am feeling frustrated. This job at the university has everything set up (emails, all system identifiers…) with my birth name. I had to provide legal name on all docs and even tho I clearly stated I go by Sky and am in process of changing it, everything says the old name. This wakes me up to how disconnected I feel from that name and how jolted I feel when I hear it. And now I really do need to start the process to change it legally.



      • I think for me it is less angering than for you. My birth name is actually super important to me, and I have a strong connection to it – I am changing my name is large part just to have something more gender-neutral, and I’ve transmuted my old name into my new last name (which is actually fitting, because the reason it was my name in the first place is because it was my grandmother’s maiden name). So it doesn’t bother me that people at work call me by my birth name, it’s just… weird.

        Also, the reason they call me that is because it’s the name I gave them when I applied (it seemed easier with respect to giving reference sand such). I sort of want to be in a more secure employment situation and/or be finished with the legal name change before I deal with changing it at work, I guess?

      • That does make sense. My given name is very female and I have really never liked it. I worry that by the time class starts it will be on everything my students will see. And maybe that is ok as it is a class on the psych of gender. They will get their first lesson in gender just by the cognitive dissonance that will happen when they meet me. 🙂

      • Pictures are deceiving. Young children often read me as male, but the older they get, the more often they read me as female. It’s annoying, but I think it’s my fragile features that make me look female. T should help.
        I definitely want to change my name legally, but that will be at least another half a year before I can. I could (maybe) speed that up a little, but that’d cost me a lot of extra money and I’d rather spend that money on other things. I’ve waited for this long already, I can wait a little longer.

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